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Category: Revelations

Needs will Always Change Within Your Recovery

Needs will Always Change Within Your Recovery

Recovery is a process. We all know this. Often times it takes a lifetime. Or two. But, until recently, I’ve always seen it to be a purely straight forward trajectory. Of course, there will be setbacks and the line is not straight by any means, but I thought it was like filling a jar. You just keep working, keep adding to the jar. But it’s not. Instead, it’s like balancing a ball on a see saw. Depression sits on one…

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Who Are You Recovering For?

Who Are You Recovering For?

Have you ever had someone forcing you to recover at their speed rather than your own? Do you feel that it limited your ability to properly deal with your problems? Have you ever had someone who didn’t want to deal with your pain because it hurt them? Have you ever had someone who said they couldn’t be around your disorder because it was a downer? Who are you healing for? Who are you fighting for? It’s not that person. You…

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Christmas Pain, Revelations and the Devotion of Family

Christmas Pain, Revelations and the Devotion of Family

I had a terrifying experience on Christmas Eve. My family, as always, had met up at my grandparents’ house for present opening. I had had a full day and I was quickly approaching a crash. But my family was great and insisted I sit and rest and eat and enjoy the evening. So I did! But a couple hours into the festivities I felt a stab in my side, reaching fully into my lungs and stopping my breath. I’ve had…

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Three Things that can Undo You and How to Fight Them

Three Things that can Undo You and How to Fight Them

I believe there are three things that can undo all your work. Or hold you back, no matter how much work you put into your recovery. I believe them to be sins. Not sins against a deity, but rather sins against yourself. I don’t know a better word for them. I believe there are Three Sins of Life. Self Pity Self Doubt Willful Ignorance They sound harsh, but they hold a lot of people back. And I think they’re particularly…

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First Check In

First Check In

I think it’s amazing how much this blog has already helped me. I thrive in a routine and fall into chaos without one. This blog gives me a way to have a strict routine and an outlet for my passions. I can’t thank the people who read my posts enough, because that’s supporting me. And my recovery. And helps me maintain my sanity and health and happiness. So thanks everyone. Your support means the world to me. Let me know…

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I Do it Because I Have to

I Do it Because I Have to

I’ve barely done anything today. Just a lot of sleeping and staring at walls. Aimlessly browsing pinterest and trying to work up the energy and strength to take a shower. It’s a day where both my depressive symptoms are amped up, and my lungs won’t let me stop coughing resulting in a spiking headache, and I can barely stand up to make it out of my bedroom without getting a head rush and fainting. So yeah…it sucks, and it’s really…

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Stop Apologizing: My Journey to Self-Validation

Stop Apologizing: My Journey to Self-Validation

I’ve found that, throughout my short life, I often get sucked into relationships where I’m made to feel inadequate or naive. I’ve been trained to apologize for everything and to assume my opinions are foolish. Then college happened and everything got so much worse. I’m a survivor of an abusive relationship. And as a survivor I can say that trying to come back from that forced submissiveness and the paranoia of doing or saying something wrong…seems impossible. Mainly, because I…

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