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Category: Philosophy

My Memory Isn’t What it Used to Be

My Memory Isn’t What it Used to Be

I’ve always had a bad or, at least, average memory. I think that’s one of the reasons I never do as well in academia as I should, considering my intelligence level. This is something I’ve come to terms with. GPA isn’t everything, it’s actually barely anything. But recently, I’ve found that it’s gotten even worse. I’m used to forgetting facts and precise wording. I can’t memorize a paragraph no matter the pressures and I struggle to remember the date. All…

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Relapse Ruminations and Prevention

Relapse Ruminations and Prevention

I’ve been struggling to write recently. Both due to pain and brain fog. But I want to keep going. So, let’s talk about relapses. (Relapse: to suffer deterioration after a period of improvement.) Now, I’ve relapsed before. It’s terrible. It feels like I finally accomplished something, even if I hold scars from the struggle, and then suddenly… it’s all gone. Then I’m back to tears every moment of every day. When they stop there’s still the pressure behind my eyes…

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Christmas Pain, Revelations and the Devotion of Family

Christmas Pain, Revelations and the Devotion of Family

I had a terrifying experience on Christmas Eve. My family, as always, had met up at my grandparents’ house for present opening. I had had a full day and I was quickly approaching a crash. But my family was great and insisted I sit and rest and eat and enjoy the evening. So I did! But a couple hours into the festivities I felt a stab in my side, reaching fully into my lungs and stopping my breath. I’ve had…

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Three Things that can Undo You and How to Fight Them

Three Things that can Undo You and How to Fight Them

I believe there are three things that can undo all your work. Or hold you back, no matter how much work you put into your recovery. I believe them to be sins. Not sins against a deity, but rather sins against yourself. I don’t know a better word for them. I believe there are Three Sins of Life. Self Pity Self Doubt Willful Ignorance They sound harsh, but they hold a lot of people back. And I think they’re particularly…

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Self Doubt

Self Doubt

  What do you think of the quote: “Self doubt is strong enough to undo you; it’s also completely brought upon yourself.” Agree or Disagree? Comforting or Intimidating? Reflect and Share! ~ClOK

I Do it Because I Have to

I Do it Because I Have to

I’ve barely done anything today. Just a lot of sleeping and staring at walls. Aimlessly browsing pinterest and trying to work up the energy and strength to take a shower. It’s a day where both my depressive symptoms are amped up, and my lungs won’t let me stop coughing resulting in a spiking headache, and I can barely stand up to make it out of my bedroom without getting a head rush and fainting. So yeah…it sucks, and it’s really…

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Stop Apologizing: My Journey to Self-Validation

Stop Apologizing: My Journey to Self-Validation

I’ve found that, throughout my short life, I often get sucked into relationships where I’m made to feel inadequate or naive. I’ve been trained to apologize for everything and to assume my opinions are foolish. Then college happened and everything got so much worse. I’m a survivor of an abusive relationship. And as a survivor I can say that trying to come back from that forced submissiveness and the paranoia of doing or saying something wrong…seems impossible. Mainly, because I…

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