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Category: Acceptance

Needs will Always Change Within Your Recovery

Needs will Always Change Within Your Recovery

Recovery is a process. We all know this. Often times it takes a lifetime. Or two. But, until recently, I’ve always seen it to be a purely straight forward trajectory. Of course, there will be setbacks and the line is not straight by any means, but I thought it was like filling a jar. You just keep working, keep adding to the jar. But it’s not. Instead, it’s like balancing a ball on a see saw. Depression sits on one…

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Who Are You Recovering For?

Who Are You Recovering For?

Have you ever had someone forcing you to recover at their speed rather than your own? Do you feel that it limited your ability to properly deal with your problems? Have you ever had someone who didn’t want to deal with your pain because it hurt them? Have you ever had someone who said they couldn’t be around your disorder because it was a downer? Who are you healing for? Who are you fighting for? It’s not that person. You…

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Jumpstart

Jumpstart

I’ve had a really rough night. I’ve barely slept. I’m desperate for finals to be over. But I couldn’t find the strength to do anything for the first couple hours after waking. No motivation. No nothing. But someone mentioned last night, that they were upset and they wanted to read my blog because of it. So after a couple hours of nothing, I pulled out my chromebook. And I wrote. And it hurt and my wrists are tired and my eyes…

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I Had no Idea my Sickness Would Give me Such Great Timing…

I Had no Idea my Sickness Would Give me Such Great Timing…

I had a presentation a couple of days ago. It was very simple, just a few slides on genetic draft or genetic hitchhiking, and the results of organelle mediated selective sweeps within a cell’s nuclear genome. That may sound scary, but really? It’s nothing. Everyone who is in a life science major will understand that sentence (or they should). But I felt good about it. I’d even added some comedic flair into it by making it all feel like a…

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The Secret of my Obsession aka Coping

The Secret of my Obsession aka Coping

I couldn’t figure out what to write about for a long time today. Everything felt out of place and I couldn’t find what was bothering me. I nearly gave up, not having the energy needed to interrogate myself. But this blog is the one thing I don’t want to quit. The one thing that means the most to me in my life right now. So I started writing. And now I have a couple drafts of future posts and still…

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Pride and Prioritization don’t have to Clash

Pride and Prioritization don’t have to Clash

I’m having one of those days where I wake up with a head ache and a stinging in my eyes. A fatigue that is bone deep and a mentality that is anything but healthy. Those days are always hard to deal with, but I always give it my best. Right now I want nothing but to go back to bed. To stare at the ceiling, maybe watch some Netflix, and wait for a numbness that can lead to sleep. Instead,…

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Remember that Everything is Okay

Remember that Everything is Okay

I woke up feeling bad today. Not an unusual occurrence, but still just as frustrating as always. Grabbing my puke bucket on my way to the bathroom and almost fainting several times on the way. It really starts to wear on me. This nagging biting chill and hopelessness all around me. It’s so easy to fall into a swirl of negativity. Then I find that I’ve been desensitized to everything…even myself. That’s when I know it’s time for something to change….

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