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Month: January 2017

Relapse Ruminations and Prevention

Relapse Ruminations and Prevention

I’ve been struggling to write recently. Both due to pain and brain fog. But I want to keep going. So, let’s talk about relapses. (Relapse: to suffer deterioration after a period of improvement.) Now, I’ve relapsed before. It’s terrible. It feels like I finally accomplished something, even if I hold scars from the struggle, and then suddenly… it’s all gone. Then I’m back to tears every moment of every day. When they stop there’s still the pressure behind my eyes…

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Who Are You Recovering For?

Who Are You Recovering For?

Have you ever had someone forcing you to recover at their speed rather than your own? Do you feel that it limited your ability to properly deal with your problems? Have you ever had someone who didn’t want to deal with your pain because it hurt them? Have you ever had someone who said they couldn’t be around your disorder because it was a downer? Who are you healing for? Who are you fighting for? It’s not that person. You…

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Christmas Pain, Revelations and the Devotion of Family

Christmas Pain, Revelations and the Devotion of Family

I had a terrifying experience on Christmas Eve. My family, as always, had met up at my grandparents’ house for present opening. I had had a full day and I was quickly approaching a crash. But my family was great and insisted I sit and rest and eat and enjoy the evening. So I did! But a couple hours into the festivities I felt a stab in my side, reaching fully into my lungs and stopping my breath. I’ve had…

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